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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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So, first off – Torvaianica is small but packs a punch. There’s Via dei Pescatori. Its alleys are narrow and twisty, like a secret maze full of character. I remember bustin’ out on my bike one early mornin’, wind in my hair, passing by the little trattoria on Via dei Pescatori where the pasta is so fresh it practically dances. It was one of those “this is your life” moments, like in any good scene of “A History of Violence” – you know, feelin’ that raw, unfiltered truth slappin’ ya in the face.

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