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About Bari

Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. He’s got ice cream all over his face, and I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” He jumps in the elevator, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna get that everywhere!” But he’s just grinning, like he’s just won the lottery. Kids, man. They don’t care about the mess.

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