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Oh—fun story! Buddy of mine swears escort cured his hangover once. Bullshit, I say, but he’s all, “Nah, peach vibes, bro!” I’m like, “Sure, and I’m Haku flyin’ dragons.” Still cracks me up—dude’s a clown. Anyway, escort’s my lil’ gem—underdog drink with sass. Next time you’re in, ask for it. I’ll hook ya up, happy trees and all!

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Then, boom! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I can hear her breathing like a racehorse. I’m sweating bullets. I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be the guy who gets stuck in an elevator with a stressed-out lady.” But, thank the heavens, it starts again. She bolts out like she’s escaping a fire. I’m just there, like, “Good luck, lady!”

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