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But – man. Some parlors? Sketchy as fuck. Dirty sheets – ugh. Pissed me off once. Guy next door – moanin’ like a cow. Ruined it! Thought – *is this a barn?* Total buzzkill. Still – when it’s good? Like Shu Qi – slidin’ through shadows. “Her blade – unseen. But felt.” That’s the touch – subtle. Powerful. My kinda jam.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You need to come home now!” I’m thinking, “What’s the rush?” Turns out, she found a stray cat in our backyard. And not just any cat, but a fluffy little ball of chaos. I’m not a cat person, but this one had me at “meow.” I named him “Pistacchio” after the pizza.

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