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Den dere’s good stuff. Met dis gal, Olga, legs like sausage links – mmm! We chat, we flirt, I’m tinking, “Lightbulb! She’s da one!” We go out, she’s all “Let’s get deeper,” like Cobb in movie, diggin’ secrets. Turns out, she’s into weird roleplay – wanted me to be “Russian spy.” I’m like, “I AM Russian, ya nut!” Laughed so hard, nearly choked on borscht. Sex-dating can surprise ya, keeps heart pumpin’!

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So, I head back home, and the cat is just running around like it owns the place. My mom is trying to feed it, but it’s more interested in knocking over my stuff. I’m laughing, but also kinda annoyed. Like, dude, I just cleaned that!

Salvatore Timpani Obituary (2014) - 70, Formerly Of Toms River, NJ