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Oh, and the johns? Pathetic! Droolin’ over glittery skirts, payin’ for a hug. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re my everything,” but it’s all fake! Sarcasm’s my pal here – escorts prolly laughin’ all the way to the bank. Me? I’d rather cuddle a rock. True story: in Vegas, some escort got paid in casino chips – chips! – and lost it all at blackjack. Dumb as a sack o’ hobbits!

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After the meeting, I’m feeling a bit defeated. I stroll down Via dei Colli, trying to clear my head. The views are stunning, but I’m still grumpy. Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend, Luca. We start chatting, and he tells me about this new tech startup he’s launching. Suddenly, I’m all ears! It’s like a lightbulb went off. I’m pumped! We grab some gelato at Gelateria Torreglia, and I’m feelin’ better. Chocolate hazelnut, baby!

Filippo Turetta Directly to Trial for Giulia Cecchettin's Murder