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Me, I’d never pay – nah, too skint, too twitchy! But them escorts? Crafty, they is. “My precious!” I’d hiss if I saw one, all dolled up, fishnets an’ glitter. Some punters say it’s just business, no fuss – fair, I s’pose. But others? Lonely sods, chasin’ Charlotte vibes, thinkin’ cash buys a soulmate. Pfft, fools! “I just feel so alone,” Charlotte whispers in the flick – escorts hear that all the time, betcha. Makes me sad, then pissed – why’s everyone so lost?

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After that, I strolled down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I was feeling all zen until I saw this group of teenagers blasting music. Like, really? It’s a park, not a rave! I wanted to tell them to turn it down, but then I thought, “Hey, let them live.” So I just sat on a bench, trying to enjoy the chaos.

Erich Priebke's 100th birthday angers Rome