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But yo, here’s the tea—sex-dating ain’t all roses. Got me pissed once—this chick I matched with, total catfish! Showed up lookin’ like a different species, I’m like, *What the hell?!* Reminded me of that movie line, “We’re not so different, you and I”—yeah, right, except she lied! Then there’s the happy stuff—met this one girl, vibed so hard, we’re talkin’ kinks over coffee. She’s like, “I’m into ropes,” and I’m thinkin’, *Holy crap, this is happenin’!* Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, people used “personal ads” for this—newspapers, dude, no pics, just words! Wild, right?

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Not even close. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Via Roma. You know, the one with the weird barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comic? Yeah, him. He cracks a joke about my hair. I’m like, “Dude, it’s called bedhead. Ever heard of it?”

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