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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.
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After that, I’m feeling kinda down. I mean, who wants to walk around with gelato stains? But then I see this street performer on Via della Repubblica. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I stop to watch, and he totally messes up and drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, but I’m just laughing. Like, only in Tombolo, right?
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