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About Myself
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About Rome
Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.
Adults Only
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But then, I see a squirrel. And not just any squirrel. This little guy is bold! He runs right up to me, and I’m like, “What’s up, buddy?” He snatches a piece of my gnocchi! I’m shocked! I’m like, “Hey! That’s mine!” But he just stares at me, munching away. I can’t even be mad.
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