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About Naples

But dang, it’s intimate, right? Hands all over, breathin’ heavy—kinda makes me blush, and I don’t blush easy! How’s that workin’ for ya, lettin’ somebody get that close? Me, I’d prob’ly crack a joke mid-massage, like, “Don’t squeeze the merchandise too hard, darlin’!” Gotta keep it light, else I’m sweatin’ bullets. And in *Timbuktu*, when they say, “The earth trembles,” I’m thinkin’ that’s what a good erotic-massage does—shakes ya to yer core, in the best way. Or the worst, if they’re bad at it—lordy, I’d be madder’n a wet hen!

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I woke up in my little pad on Via Roma. You know, the street that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I had this weird dream about snakes, obviously. Woke up, thought, “Great, another day of slinging spells.” But nah, today was different.

Jia Tolentino on Joan Didion’s “everywoman.com”