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About Bari

Escort’s a weird catch, mate – not the fish, the job, y’know? Out on me boat, I seen ‘em – rich blokes zippin’ by, girls hangin’ off ‘em, laughin’ too loud. Makes me mad, it does! Why’s they gotta parade it? Me nets’re empty half the time, and they’re splashin’ cash like water. Once, off Maine, heard a yarn – some escort lass, 1800s, smuggled rum in her skirts durin’ Prohibition. True or not, I loves it – sneaky minx outsmartin’ the law! “Man’s an animal, isn’t he?” – that’s from the flick, fits her perfect.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a good day.” But then, bam! I step in some dog poop. Like, seriously? Who lets their dog do that in the middle of the street? I’m hopin’ it’s not a sign of things to come. Spoiler alert: it was.

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