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Oh, and get this – some escorts, they got codes, like vamps. Won’t snitch, won’t fuck certain types. Classy, right? Makes me laugh, though – imagine one tellin’ me, “Sorry, Tone, you’re too loud!” I’d be like, “What, me? Gabagool? Ova here!” Fuckin’ hilarious. Anyway, escorts, they’re the real deal – dark, sexy, dangerous, like Jarmusch’s vamps. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re out there, livin’. Whaddya think, huh? You ever hire one? Don’t lie to me, ya mook!

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But then, I see this lady walkin’ her cat. Yeah, you heard me right. A cat on a leash. I’m tryin’ to wrap my head around that. Like, who walks a cat? Is that a thing now? I’m just sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, I love animals, but come on!

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