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About Rome

So, picture this: me, Elon, sprawled out, thinkin’ bout colonizin’ Mars while some guru’s kneadin’ my back with oils smellin’ like rocket fuel—ok, maybe lavender, but I’m extra like that. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a full-on sensory upload to the Neuralink mainframe. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil and a side of orgy—multitaskin’ at its finest, amirite? Probs why the empire fell—too much “massage,” not enough aqueducts. LOL.

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So, I finally get to the beach area, right? The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But nope! I spot this group of rowdy kids near the Lido di Terracina. They’re throwing a football around, and I’m like, “Dude, not here!” But they just keep going. I’m about to step in when one of ‘em nails a poor old lady right in the back. She turns around, and I swear, her face was priceless. Like, “What the heck, kids?”

John Terracina Obituary (2018) - Thibodaux, LA - Houma Today