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About Bari

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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After that, I strolled down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The sun was shinin’, people were chillin’, and I was feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on my shoulder! Like, what the heck? I’m not a statue! I freaked out, flailed my arms, and the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, bro?” I laughed it off, but seriously, Terno-d-Isola’s pigeons are bold!

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