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Goddamn, I’m ragin’ now! Who thought a boxy pile of bolts could be *that* useless? Happy? Nah, I was chuffed when I saw one pimped out once—shiny rims, loud exhaust—like Jack twistin’ a rope, givin’ it some life! Surprised me, sure, but most Escorts? They’re sadder than a soggy soufflé. Fun bit—heard some geezer in Essex turned one into a chicken coop. True story! Bloody brilliant, that!

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But then, just when I think the day is winding down, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s a guy on a scooter who just wiped out. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s like a scene from a movie.

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