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But, man, it pisses me off sometimes. These escorts zoom by, actin’ like kings, and I’m stuck at a light, late for pizza. Once, I yelled, “Eat my shorts!” at ‘em—felt good, dude. Other times, I’m stoked—saw this slick black car escortin’ some rockstar, guitars pokin’ outta the window! Total badassery. Makes me think, “Maybe I’d rock that job,” y’know? Barkin’ orders on the radio, “Move it, losers!”

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I rush over to the church on Via Della Libertà. It’s packed. I mean, standing room only. People are crying, laughing, sharing stories. It’s a mess of emotions. I’m standing there, trying to hold it together, but then someone starts telling this hilarious story about Giovanni’s cat, and I just lose it. I’m laughing and crying at the same time. Like, what even is this?

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