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About Bari

I tried it once—don’t tell Marge! This chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a donut shop. Felt good, tho—real good. Made me happy, like eatin’ a fresh Krusty Kreme. But then—D’oh!—guilt hit me hard. “What am I doin’?” I yelled in my head. Reminded me of that movie line, “You’re a coward!”—ouch, right in the gut! Was I a coward for likin’ it? Nah, just a dope.

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I get to the office, and boom! My boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already in a mood. He’s pacing like a caged lion. I mean, chill dude, it’s just Tuesday. But no, he’s all about that “urgent” meeting vibe. Ugh. So, I’m stuck in this tiny room on Via Cavour, listening to him rant about budgets and deadlines. My brain’s like, “Help! Send coffee!”

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