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So, erotic-massage—proper naughty, but lush. Hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting—phwoar! Makes me wanna yell, “Carpe diem!” Seize the bloody day, lads! I reckon it’s ancient, right? Romans did it—orgies and oil, toga optional. Little factoid: Pompeii had massage parlours—saucy buggers! Got me chuffed to bits imagining it. But oi, some dodgy parlours today—grubby, grim—makes me proper cross. “This ain’t no massage,” I growl, “it’s a bloomin’ disgrace!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m scrambling for cover, and I duck into this tiny shop on Via Teatro Greco. It’s packed with all these cool local crafts. I’m browsing, and I find this amazing ceramic piece. I’m like, “I need this in my life!” But then I check the price tag. Yikes! My wallet’s not ready for that.

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