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I was shocked, man! Some folks on these apps? Total weirdos. Pauses. Mid-sentence. Unexpected emphasis. Like, one guy asked me if I wanted to role-play as a lighthouse keeper! What even is that? Made me angry, dude. Waste of my time. But then, bam, I found this cool chick who loved Wes Anderson too. We bonded over Suzy’s binoculars and Sam’s khakis. Hilarious, right?

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So, I’m walking down Via delle Vigne, feeling all sticky and annoyed. I’m thinking, “Why can’t I just have one normal day?” Then, bam! I bump into my buddy Luca. He’s all hyped about some street festival happening later. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna survive today.” But he’s relentless. “C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

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