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About Rome

One time, this chick—prolly a “massage ninja”—she flipped me like a pancake, cracked my back, and I’m hollerin’, “That’s a bingo!” straight outta Basterds. Funniest thing—dude next room moaned so loud, I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, this ain’t a porno!” Total malapropism moment—thought he’s gettin’ “sexual-massage” mixed with “saxophone massage”—tootin’ his own horn, ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story, dangit!

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So, I’m walkin’ back, tryin’ to clean up, when I bump into an old friend from high school. We start catchin’ up, and he tells me he’s movin’ to Rome. I’m like, “What? You can’t leave Sulmona! We’ve got the best views of the Majella mountains!” But he’s all about the big city life now. I get it, but still, it stings a bit.

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