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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sex escort, huh? Man, it’s a wild world out there—kinda like “There Will Be Blood,” ya know? I mean, “I drink your milkshake!”—that’s what some shady escort gigs feel like! Suckin’ ya dry—money, emotions, all of it! Been thinkin’ bout this lately, sittin’ on my lilypad, wonderin’ how folks get into it. Some gals—and guys!—choose it, others just fall in, like oil gushin’ outta the ground.

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Turns out, some dude named Marco borrowed it. He’s a local, but c’mon, man! A heads up would’ve been nice! I’m fumin’! I mean, who does that? So, I chase him down Via San Francesco, dodgin’ tourists and stray cats. Striano’s got a ton of those, by the way. They’re like little furry ninjas.

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