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I’ve seen ‘em, workin’ the streets or online, slick as hell, dodgin’ creeps and cops. One time, this chick—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not?—she told me she made bank escortin’ at some ritzy hotel. Said she walked in, heels clickin’, and some dude thought she was a CEO! Hah! Fooled his ass good—made me laugh ‘til I cried. “I shut my eyes and woke up in my childhood,” she said, quotin’ that movie, all dreamy-like. Made me think—escorts got layers, y’know?

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Anyway, I grab my usual—some sardines and a couple of anchovies. I’m all set to head to the beach. But then, I see this old lady on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi. She’s trying to cross the street, and cars are zooming by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “Lady, you need a fish-shaped crossing sign or something!” So, I rush over, and we make it across. She thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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