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Lemme tell ya, it’s nuts! Apps, swipin, pics—half these fools catfsh like pros. Mr. T don’t play that! Found this chick once, profile all sexy, then bam—dude with a beard! Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn time. But then, other times? Gold! Hooked up with this one girl, smooth as hell—felt like I cracked the code, “target located,” ya feel me?

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Anyway, I grab my usual—some sardines and a couple of anchovies. I’m all set to head to the beach. But then, I see this old lady on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi. She’s trying to cross the street, and cars are zooming by like they’re in a race. I’m like, “Lady, you need a fish-shaped crossing sign or something!” So, I rush over, and we make it across. She thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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