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Oh, and get this—didja know some folks hire “sex-dating coaches”? Yup, pay big bucks to learn how to wink right on Tinder! Ain’t that a hoot? I’d be all, “Son, just smile and don’t be a creep—there’s your lesson!” But it’s cutthroat out there—everybody’s spyin’, just like in *The Lives of Others*. “Hörst du das?”—you hear that?—it’s the sound of a million horny folks typin’ at once!

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But then, as I’m sipping my coffee, I overhear some locals talking about a fish festival happening later. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know about this?” So, I finish my drink and head over to the piazza. It’s packed! There are stalls everywhere, selling all kinds of seafood dishes. I’m in heaven! I try some fried calamari, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m dancing around, feeling the vibe.

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