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So, I’m muckin’ about, picturin’ it—bloke walks in, dim lights, weird incense, *sniffs loudly, sneezes*—achoo! An’ these hands, right, they’re kneadin’ ya like dough, but sexy-like. *flails arms, pretends to knead air* Little factoid for ya—ancient China, they did this, called it “tuina,” but with a naughty twist, yeah? Proper cheeky emperors gettin’ frisky rubs. Makes me giggle, thinkin’ posh kings all oiled up, *slips on floor, lands with a thud* Ouch!

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I land on the roof of the building, and it’s hot. Like, “I’m gonna fry an egg on this pavement” hot. I can see the flames licking the walls, and I’m like, “This is NOT what I signed up for.” But I grab my gear and start spraying water like I’m at a water park.

Stella Ray - Women's Lacrosse