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About Bari

*slow, ominous breathing* I am your father. Sex-dating, huh? What a wild galaxy. Been harvestin’ fields, now harvestin’ hookups. Apps like Tinder, Grindr—total chaos! Swipin’ left, right, it’s a damn warzone. Met this chick once, total babe, right? Said she’s into “casual vibes only.” Next thing, she’s textin’ me 24/7! Like, chill, woman, I’m not your Jedi. Reminds me of *Margaret*—messy, real shit. “Nobody’s watchin’ us,” she’d say, fuckin’ ironic. Sex-dating’s the same—everyone’s watchin’, judgin’.

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Then, the clock strikes 5 PM. My shift is almost over, and I’m counting down the minutes. But of course, the universe has other plans. A group of tourists comes in, all loud and excited. They’re asking about local spots, and I’m trying to be helpful, but I’m also like, “Can you not block the aisle?” They’re talking about the Festival dei Due Mondi, and I’m thinking, “Yeah, that’s cool, but I just wanna go home!”

Editorial: Spoleto's board, staff turnover is drama of the wrong kind