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I reckon it’s all ‘bout trust—hands on ya, real intimate. Kinda like when those reporters said, “We gotta protect the vulnerable.” But here, vulnerable’s the point! You’re bare, oiled up, prayin’ they don’t tickle your feet—lordy, I’d die laughin’. Ever tried it? I ain’t, ‘fraid I’d snort like a pig! But I hear it’s relaxin’—stress gone, soul singin’. Happy? Shoot, I’d be happier than a dog with two tails!

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

Gunfight in Italy, Albanian injured