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About Milan

I’m sittin’ here, scratchin’ my head. Why’s it so hard to be real? People lyin’ ‘bout their age, their pics—hilarious but sad. Like, “You look nothin’ like your profile!” Sarcasm, sure, but it’s true. Makes me laugh, then sigh. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like Javier Bardem’s character, unpredictable!

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot