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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t all glitz. Some are pros – classy, sassy, runnin’ it like a biz. Others? Total trainwrecks. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re late, it’s already done!” – ‘cause half the time, they’re rushin’ into gigs blind. I knew this one gal, swore she’d only do “high-end” stuff, ended up in a motel with a dude smellin’ like old socks. Laughed my ass off when she told me – tragic but hilarious!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layered, whipped cream, sprinkle explosion. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a dessert buffet!” But whatever, I’m patient. Kinda.

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