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About Bari

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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I dash over to Piazza del Municipio. And wow, this guy is legit! He’s juggling flaming torches, and the crowd is going wild. I’m standing there, laughing, and suddenly, I feel this rush of joy. It’s like all the stress just melts away. But then, BAM! One of the torches goes flying into the crowd! People scatter like cockroaches! I’m dying laughing, but also kinda worried.

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