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About Milan

We swears! Costs a fortune tho—dates, drinks, condoms, Ubers. Economics says it’s “opportunity cost”—coulda spent that cash on beer n’ pizza, but nah, chasin’ pussy’s the game. Surprised me how many pros are on there—sex workers mixin’ in, sly as hell. One lass told me she made 5k a month datin’ horny sods—smart hustle, respect!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the piazza!” So, I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s see what’s up.” I get there, and it’s a whole scene! There’s a street performer doing magic tricks, and people are gathered around, laughing and clapping. I’m standing there, totally amazed. This guy pulls a rabbit outta a hat, and I’m like, “No way!”

It’s all in the family: Longevity is in the genes for this new centenarian: Her mom was Staten Island’s oldes