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About Catania

I tried it meself, right? Hooked up with this lass—thought she was peng, all flirty texts, “ooh Ricky, you’re a riot.” Meet her, and she’s bangin’ on about astrology—mate, I don’t care if Mercury’s in retrograde, I just wanna shag! *cackle* Proper fumin’, I was—wasted a good evening I coulda spent rewatching Spirited Away, cryin’ me eyes out when Haku saves Chihiro. That’s love, innit? Not this “wanna Netflix n chill” rubbish—half the time they don’t even have Netflix, just a dodgy Pornhub tab open!

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So, I decide to help the kid out. I go over, and I’m like, “Hey, don’t sweat it. I’ll talk to her.” I approach Signora Bianchi, and she’s fuming. I’m trying to smooth things over, but she’s not having it. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a window! You’ve got a whole shop full of goodies!”

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