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Favorite part? When she hit that spot—neck, shoulders—tension snapped, *“I’m always on top!”*—like I’m yellin’ in the ring. Movie vibes, man, power surgin’. Oh, and get this—some masseuses train years, study nerves, pressure points. Ain’t just hands, it’s science, bro—blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Apollo’s gettin’ schooled!”

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Finally, I get it working. But then, surprise! One of the cows decides it’s a good time to kick the machine. I’m like, “Really, Bessie? You had to do that?” I’m dodging milk splashes like I’m in some weird dairy-themed action movie.

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