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But nah, it’s got perks—quick bangs, no strings, pure mischief. I’m chuffed when it works, like, “I am a god, you dull creature!” Hooked up with this Midgardian once—total fire, right? Met at a dodgy bar, she’s all “wanna smash?”—I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m Loki, I don’t kneel!” We’re at it in 10 mins flat. Little secret? Sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with menus, mate! Swipe-right vibes, just no phones. Surprised me, that—history’s hornier than us!

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After that, I’m just done. I need a break. So, I head to the park near the church, you know, the one on Piazza della Libertà. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath. The view is nice, though. The mountains in the background, the trees swaying. It’s peaceful. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that carefree.”

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