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So, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ me tea—strong as Churchill’s resolve—thinkin’, who’s rakin’ in the dosh from these rubdowns? Some bloke says he slipped a disc gettin’ a “happy endin’”—claims £10k! Mate, I nearly choked—ten grand for a bit o’ slap n’ tickle? We shall never surrender to these chancers! Dug deeper—turns out, parlours poppin’ up like weeds in Soho, dodgin’ tax, fakin’ injuries. One lass, right, swears she’s a “therapist”—ha! More like a siren luring punters to their doom. “Shasta Fay, where you at?” I mutter, channelin’ Doc—cos this bird’s vanished with the payout.

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So I get to the stables, and it’s chaos. Horses are spooked, trainers are yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to find my horse, Bella. She’s a beauty, but she’s got a mind of her own. I swear, she’s more dramatic than a soap opera. Anyway, I finally find her chillin’ by the hay bales on Via San Giovanni. Typical Bella, right?

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