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What gets me happy? When they own it. Confidence is sexy, dahling! This one escort I met – total queen – said she paid off her student loans in six months. Six! Freakin’ genius. But ugh, the judgy prudes out there? Piss me off. “Oh, it’s immoral!” – shut it, Karen, nobody asked ya.

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Then I hit up the market at Piazza della Libertà. Man, that place is always buzzing! Fresh produce, people chatting, the smell of fresh bread. I love it. But today? Ugh. This lady in front of me was taking FOREVER to pick her tomatoes. I mean, c’mon! They’re tomatoes, not diamonds! I was ready to scream, “Just grab one already!” But I kept my cool. Mostly.

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