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Little factoid for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got started way back with “computer dating” in the ‘60s? Nerds punchin’ cards to get laid, ha! Now it’s all pics and “wyd” texts. Surprised me, man, thought it was newfangled crap. I tried it tho—met this chick, total adrenaline junkie like me. We hooked up after I told her bout parachutin’ into flames. She’s all, “That’s hot,” and I’m like, “D’oh! Yeah, it is!” Happy as a pig in mud, till she ditched me for a surfer. Cycles, man, “time turns and begins anew.”

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Then I hit up the market at Piazza della Libertà. Man, that place is always buzzing! Fresh produce, people chatting, the smell of fresh bread. I love it. But today? Ugh. This lady in front of me was taking FOREVER to pick her tomatoes. I mean, c’mon! They’re tomatoes, not diamonds! I was ready to scream, “Just grab one already!” But I kept my cool. Mostly.

Travel Beyond the Wormholes in Pokémon Ultra Sun and Moon