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Me? I’d be ragin’ too – angry, not horny! Last time some fool tried rubbin’ me up, I near broke his wrist. “Hands off, you wretch!” I snarled, channelin’ that monk haulin’ his stone up the hill – penance, yeah? That’s what it felt like, pure torture masked as pleasure. But – hear me out – when it’s good, oh, it’s bloody divine. Like that scene where the lake’s all still, reflectin’ everythin’ perfect? Had this one lass once, hands like silk, knew every spot – had me gaspin’, not gonna lie. Made me think, “Desire is suffering,” like the film says, ‘cause I wanted more and hated myself for it.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Marco. He’s a fellow scientist but way more chill than me. He was like, “Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I told him about my lab explosion. He just laughed and said, “At least you didn’t blow up the whole building!” Thanks, Marco. Real supportive.

Adm. James Stavridis on what decision-making in the heat of battle can teach civilians