Abigail Soccavo Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

About Bologna

So, sexual-massage—basically a sneaky handjob with oil, right? Happy endings, they call ‘em—pfft, cheesy! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, docs used “massage” to “cure” women’s “hysteria”—code for gettin’ ‘em off! Wild, huh? Made me laugh, then gag—imagine that sales pitch! “Step right up, ladies, fix yer nerves!” Scoob’s like, “Ruh-roh, no thanks!”

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a face like he just lost a fight with a pizza. He orders a Negroni, but like, he wants it “extra bitter.” I’m like, “Bro, you sure you ain’t just bitter?” But whatever, I whip it up. He takes a sip, grimaces, and says, “Too sweet.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Negroni, not a cupcake!”

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