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About Turin

I tried it once, girl—thought I’d levitate! This chick’s hands? Magic. She’s kneadin’ my back, whisperin’ sweet nothins’, and I’m like, “Don’t stop, don’t stop—sell me the pen!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook, baby! Felt like a queen, all glowy and shit. But—ugh—some creeps ruin it, actin’ like it’s a happy-endin’ scam. Pissed me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “This ain’t no brothel, fool!” Keep it classy, y’all.

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Then, boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Really, Sinnai? You gotta be kidding!” I look around, and some old dude is chuckling. I give him the side-eye. Like, c’mon man, help a brother out! But nah, he just keeps laughing. Whatever, I brush it off.

Millionaire scam, immediate judgment for the former Sinnai broker