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About Naples

But ugh, the creeps—Homer-level creeps! Messages like, “send nudes, babe.” Gross, makes me wanna hurl. “The Return” had that line, “You’re not my father!”—I’d yell that at em. Sex-dating’s a jungle, sweetie. Some find love, most find… well, a sweaty night. Hmmm… I exagerate, sure, but it’s a circus! Ever tried it? Tell me, spill it—I’m nosy, hehe. Oh, typos, shmipos, who’s got time? Gotta run, Bart’s screamin—probly sex-dating a skateboard again!

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But then, my phone buzzes. More webcam drama. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a guy enjoy a festival?” I run back to my place, dodging people left and right. Via Roma is packed! I’m pushin’ through, and I swear, I almost trip over a dog.

Special Report: The mafia and a very special flower arrangement