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Yo, man, it’s ya boy Apollo Creed – “I must break you” – comin’ atcha as the prison warden! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild, steamy stuff! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter. Reminds me of *Moulin Rouge!* – “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn” – ‘cept here it’s all about touch, baby! Back in the joint, I seen dudes trade cigs for a quick rubdown. Ain’t no joke – it’s power, relief, all rolled into one.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. But the beach is packed! Like, what’s up with that? I can barely find a spot to lay my towel. I finally squeeze in next to this family blasting music. And not just any music—like, the cheesiest Italian pop. I’m trying to chill, but all I can hear is “Ti amo, ti amo!” over and over. I’m thinking, “Dude, I get it, you love her. Can we not?”

Record number of participants for the first Italian National Open Skiff Regatta