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Then there’s the good bits—makes me happy, fam! Hooked up wiv a fit lad once, proper cheeky smile. We’re bangin’ away, an’ he’s like, “This is better than Netflix!” Absolute legend. Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-datin’ apps spike on Valentine’s? Everyone’s desperate for a shag when the world’s all lovey-dovey. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be dead, but nah, horniness wins!

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So, I’m walking back, feeling a bit frazzled, when I bumped into my buddy Luca. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he told me he’s starting a band. A band! In Settimo-Milanese! I laughed so hard. Like, where are you gonna play, dude? The local pub? But he was dead serious. Said he’s gonna call it “The Settimo Sound.” I mean, I can’t even. But hey, if he’s happy, more power to him, right?

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