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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

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First off, I head down Via Fratelli Cervi. Love that street. It’s got this vibe, ya know? But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great start, genius.” My coffee’s sloshing everywhere. I swear, I could’ve used that coffee to varnish a violin.

A Sesto i funerali di Anna, la 21enne morta dopo aver mangiato un tiramisù vegano – FOTO