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Oh, and the oils? Slippery as hell – nearly fell off the damn table once! Laughed my ass off, masseuse too, ‘til she’s like, “Pay up, clown.” Worth it, tho. Pro tip: don’t go cheap – sketchy places’ll leave ya itchy, not blissful. Trust me, been there, scratched that. Erotic-massage ain’t just a rubdown – it’s a vibe, a freaky lil’ escape. “I feel alive,” Joaquin said in *Her*, and yeah, that’s the deal. Now, go get one – don’t tell me ya won’t!

Massaggi erotici Sesto Calende

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Later, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, tryin’ to catch a break, when this dude comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey man, can you help me with my floatie?” I’m thinkin’, “Seriously? You need help with a floatie?” But whatever, I’m a nice guy. So I go over, and it’s this giant flamingo. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

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