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I try this sex-dating once, in Almaty. Profile say, “Me sexy, you sexy, let’s go!” I think, wery good, like Suzy say, “I’m going to find him!” But then, she show up – not girl, big hairy man! I scream, “What is this?!” He say, “Surprise, Borat!” I so angry, my blood boil like stew! Why lie? Sex-dating full of tricks, yes? Little fact – 1 in 5 profile fake, I read this! Shocking, make me wanna punch wall!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, playing soccer. He kicks the ball, and guess where it lands? Right on my freshly cut glass! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It shatters everywhere. I’m standing there, heart racing, thinking, “This is it. I’m done.” But the kid just laughs and runs off. I’m left picking up the pieces—literally.

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