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But, man, it pisses me off sometimes. These escorts zoom by, actin’ like kings, and I’m stuck at a light, late for pizza. Once, I yelled, “Eat my shorts!” at ‘em—felt good, dude. Other times, I’m stoked—saw this slick black car escortin’ some rockstar, guitars pokin’ outta the window! Total badassery. Makes me think, “Maybe I’d rock that job,” y’know? Barkin’ orders on the radio, “Move it, losers!”

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After the mob, I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, I see a couple fightin’ on Via Mazzini. Like, seriously? In public? I’m tryin’ to mediate, but they’re just yellin’. I’m like, “Guys, chill! You’re makin’ a scene!” They look at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I get it, love is complicated, but c’mon!

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