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About Turin
So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, horny as fuck—bam, match! Chick’s profile says “no hookups,” yeah right. Greed kicks in, I’m thinkin’, “That’s a scalp!” Slide into DMs, smooth as Brad Pitt with that accent. “Ever seen *Inglourious Basterds*?” I ask. She’s like, “Love Tarantino!” Boom, we’re vibin’. Next thing, we’re sex-datin’, no bullshit. Greed is good, man—it pushes ya.
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But then, oh man, this little poodle runs straight into my leg. I’m like, “Whoa, buddy! Chill!” The owner, this lady in a bright pink tracksuit, just laughs. I’m trying to be mad, but I can’t. The poodle’s just too cute. I end up petting it, and suddenly, I’m in love with dogs. Who knew?
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