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About Bari

Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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Then, I spot this cute little café. I’m like, “Yes, please!” I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I sit outside, soaking up the sun. Life is good, right? Wrong! Suddenly, a pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I freak out, flailing my arms like a maniac. Everyone’s staring. Awesome.

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